My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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