I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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