I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
