Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize