tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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