Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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