i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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