smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
