would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Holy sore nipples Batman
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
