I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
