You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
