I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
