Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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