id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
