I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
