If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
