That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
