You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
we should paint friendship bongs
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
