i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
