Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
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