Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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