Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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