My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
So. Much. Porn.
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