the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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