Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Well I just put wine in my tea
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
