Ambien. No doubt about it.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
