Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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