Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Oh god it's open bar.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
