if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
