would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
