If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
