Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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