Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
