Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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