Your tits are I can't wait for
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
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