Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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