Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
