I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
