fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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