Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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