Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
