i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
