Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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