Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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