I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
