so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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