So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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