I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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