Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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