How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
