I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize