69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
