how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
