When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
