I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I wish I only lived at night.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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