This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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