In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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