An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
