I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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