I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
