I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
