i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
