She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
