Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
