yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We had sex on a dog bed..
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
