But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
