Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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