sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
