i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
