ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize