just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
