I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
