I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
