Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
