And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
