Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
