Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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