Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
