quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
